LOOK AT THESE PIGS, AREN’T THEY ALL MEAT?
WOULDN’T YOU THINK MY KITCHEN IS COMPLETE?
WOULDN’T YOU THINK I’M THE MAN
THE MAN WHO’S TRIED EVERY LIMB
LOOK AT THIS KNIFE, STABBINGS UNTOLD
HOW MANY MURDERS CAN ONE BASEMENT HOLD?
LOOKING AROUND HERE YOU’D THINK
SURE, HE’S TRIED EVERY LIMB
I’VE GOT HATCHETS AND BONE SAWS APLENTY
I’VE GOT ORGANS AND ENTRAILS GALORE
YOU WANT CLAYBAKED LEGS? I’VE GOT TWENTY
BUT WHO CARES? NO BIG DEAL.
I WANT YOURS
I honestly saw this as a way of George telling D&D to fuck themselves
The Mako is back in the next Mass Effect. I can taste the crashes already, even though Gamble says “it’s a more agile Mako”
Two days in a car and my Grand Uncle, Grand Aunt, cousin and myself made it to Cape Breton.
i hate that i want you
DON’T BUY THESE.
I made that mistake. I was once like you. I thought “these are probably like mozzarella sticks, except with melty american cheese instead of mozzarella and dorito dust instead of regular bread crumbs.”
I was wrong. So wrong. The cheese wasn’t melty, as shown. It wasn’t even cheese. It had the texture of play-doh and the flavor of despair. It tasted like someone had described cheese to someone who had never heard of it, and they gave it their best shot and just went “yikes, I’m really sorry, guy.”
While the cheese pictured in the image above is gooey and melty and looks delicious, the cheese in the actual product i like they took just the congealed film off the top of nacho cheese and, sun-baked it until it was completely dried out, and then jammed it into this triangular abomination.
Which brings me to the dorito dust crusting. You would think that something so like a dorito would deliver the satisfaction of a dorito. You would be wrong. It tastes like someone used regular bread crumbs but sprayed the hell out of them with dorito-scented axe body spray, then dipped it in orange food coloring for the full effect.
I bought this thinking “what’s the worst that can happen?” The worst that can happen, as it turns out, is that the people at 7-11 exchanged my money for four of these triangular monstrosities. Up until the second I bit down, I thought there was a chance for this to be good.
If you want to eat something roughly cheese-flavor with the consistency of a stale marshmallow rolled in the crumbs at the bottom of a bag of doritos you found in your backpack but can’t quite remember when you bought it, by all means, “load up” on the Doritos Loaded sorrow triangles.
However, if you love yourself and think life is for the living, avoid these at all costs. They are anti-life, and left unchecked, will consume all that is good and happy in this and all possible universes.